Even in Newness of Life

Another mistake.

It's not a new one, and rarely is.

It's the same mistake I've made before.

A stupid mistake.

A forgetful mistake.

A seemingly unimportant mistake-

but this mistaking is getting old. 

I'm so frustrated.
I should know better.

I should have learned my lesson.

I should be invincible to this.

In these moments you always speak.

I'm usually too busy putting words in your mouth to listen.

I assume you'd say berating words.

I assume you're disappointed.

I assume you're conjuring my punishment.

But then.

Then you give me ears to hear.

Then you whisper what is true.

Then you give yourself to me again.

In my bitterness and withdrawal, you free me to draw near.

Thank you for rescuing me-
for rendering my shame powerless
for loving me when I self-loathe
for being the atonement I cannot be for myself.

We are a self-deprecating people.
Lead us away from our mutilation to your exaltation. 

We praise you for Jesus-

that in him we don't just have an example, but a Savior.

Teach us to live like we need saving.

Teach us to rejoice in the safety you give-

instead of shaming ourselves for needing it.

We have been immersed in you, and raised to new life with you.

Even in newness of life, our need remains.

Turn our songs from "How could I have.." to, "Praise you for.."

Our pride may feel crushed,

but our souls will feel free. 

Amen.

Romans 8:31-37

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future,nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 16: 5-11

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;

you hold my lot.

 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;

in the night also my heart instructs me.

 I have set the Lord always before me;

because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;

my flesh also dwells secure.

 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,

or let your holy one see corruption.

 You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.